What next for record-breaking Polar Bears?

By John Estridge, Editor

Published: Tuesday, December 29, 2009 2:34 PM CST

Better leave the heaters in the vehicles going at full blast come Friday around noon.

Even though the world is in the midst of global warming weather prognosticators predict Friday’s temperature will start out around 25 degrees around midnight, when the ball heads toward earth, and head downward the entire day.

Just to make it more like swimming weather, there are also snow showers and wind in the forecast.

So the 2010 Polar Bears will earn their names this year.

Last year a record 402 humans and three dogs took part in the madness that began in 1988.

In that first year, 36 people dove into the waters of Brookville Lake off Bonwell Ramp.

It was in that second year, 1989, where one of the participants who had not quite finished from the New Year's Eve celebrations of the night before, lost track of simple directions like up and down let alone north and south. Thus, he began a long swim north toward Union County before those slightly more alert could come to his rescue.

In a rare sober and sane moment, the Polar Bears decided to change their venue to the Tailwater Area. The water level can be controlled by the Army Corps of Engineers, and it is hard for even the most directionally challenged in the area to become dangerously confused.

Participation directions are very easy. One just begins at the side of the river near the Tailwater Parking Lot at noon, travels across the river to the other side where green pickle buckets await. Once there, shivering participants are asked to deposit blue registration cards in the buckets, turn around and return to the side where they started.

Simple.

Also simple are the rules. There are just a few for safety reasons. One cannot use the word organizers when describing the Polar Bears; however, the ones who help make the craziness possible are as close to anarchists as anyone wants to meet, and they are more fun than the anarchists who were recently demonstrating against global warming in Copenhagen.

The original Polar Bears were forced to make a few rules for safety sake.

They are:

*Wear shoes. There are as many rocks on the bottom of the river as there are in the heads of those participating and as can be seen along the banks.

*Upon arriving in the Tailwater Area, find someone bearing little blue cards and writing instruments. Upon these blue cards, participants should place their names and points of origin. There have been participants from as far away as Poland. Although planets other than earth have been claimed as a point of origin on some cards, those have not been verified.

*Place the blue cards in the pickle buckets on the other side. Then return. Both of these items are important. Cards allow the organizers a way to count participants. Returning to the side of origin allows the participants an opportunity to get to towels, blankets and warm vehicles.

*No prizes are given as that would require too much organization, but there are competitions for youngest, oldest, one who came from farthest away, most in a family, most in a group and best costume.

*Animals other than humans are encouraged although it is hoped they will cross downstream of human-like participants. I have been yelled at in the past for saying things at this point like directions for downstream will be given to Buckeyes and Purdue graduates, so I will not say that this year.

*Starting time is noon on New Year’s Day. However, time is a transitory element. It is best to get there early. Many people come just to watch and to provide support, mentally as well as physically, for those who participate. Those who arrive late can still cross as long as those who retrieve the pickle buckets and the cards are still on site, and the Army Corps of Engineers have not increased the water flow.

*Unathletic Director and one of the Polar Bear founding fathers, Gary Wolf starts the crossing by emptying the Sacred Bag of Ice into the waters in front of the horde. Wolf said the ice is transported from the Himalayan Mountains and maybe from Shrangri-la itself. Others reported seeing Wolf purchasing the ice with other items at the liquor store prior to the event. This year Wolf is inviting as many people and accompanying four-legged friends to join him in the ceremony. However, they too must bring a bag of ice.

Wolf would like to make one plea ... announcement. When the sacred ice is dipped, please go around and not through him in the mad dash for the other side. Four hundred people can hurt.

Wear costumes and shoes and have fun.